Well, It's Finally Happened

For the first time in my 19 years of driving I flipped someone off on the freeway today. The best part about it is that it was a woman. A pretty, young, snotty, insolent, prissy, arrogant, Jetta driving woman. There's this thing called the freeway shuffle. One car already on the freeway goes, one car getting on the freeway follows. She effing sped up to fill the gap that would have allowed me to get on the freeway before the on ramp ended. The most infuriating part about it was that she didn't get ahead of me. She came to a stop right next to me. That's when I lost it. I laid on the horn, flipped her off, and called her a stupid c**t. I said it in that exaggerated way you do when you want someone in another car to know what you are saying. My therapist will be so disappointed. Look, I'm not saying I'm proud of my childish behavior. I'm just saying she is lucky I only flipped her off because what I really wanted to do was floor it and slam right into her little silver Jetta and push her into one of the semis that was cruising by on the other side of her. I'm just sayin'.